Knowing Self
The Importance of Knowing and Understanding Self
Having an understanding of one’s self is vitally important in life. The key to happiness, peace and security is to know 1 what makes me tick. I need to have an intimate 2 relationship with me, I know it sounds absurd, but, many of us know what food we like, what movies and games we enjoy, my favorite colour, and what type of people we like being around.
However this is a superficial knowing of self, we need to go down much deeper and find out exactly what I stand for, what are my values and beliefs, what is my “True North”, what guides me down this path called life? You see, before I can communicate, interact, lead, guide and respect others. Before I can achieve, grow and become successful in whatever I do, I need to get a handle on “Me” I need to know, how I will react to things like, frustration, rejection, disappointment and the emotions of success and failure, this will inevitably determine whether I will succeed or fail.
If you ask someone who they are, they will normally respond with things like; “I’m Mark” or “I’m a plumber, a student or a doctor” but these descriptions do not say who you are. Who you are, is based upon an Identity of you internal belief system these belief systems, whether good or bad, beautiful or ugly, true or false are based upon concepts that you have learned and made your own throughout the years of growing up and living on this planet.
The saying goes like this “the concept you accept as true is the concept that controls you” Yes, this is what you are all about, it is this that will ultimately determine and control your behavior. This is who you are; you are a product of your own belief system.
Let’s ask the question again, who are you? “I am a man who stands by his word, is honest and upright, I respect the opinions and beliefs of others, I am compassionate and empathetic to those in need, am slow to speak and quick to listen and believe in the freedom of choice” Wow! Now that’s someone who knows who he is, he has an identity that is unique to him; he has nothing to prove - because he knows who he is! So, before you can get the world to respond to your needs and wants, you need to understand what it is that makes you excited and motivated.
- Are you focused, or are you just floating around, hoping that something will happen?
- Are you within the audience, or are you on the stage?
- Are you a follower, or a leader?
Once again, for you to understand and know self, is to know, how you will behave and react in a given situation - this is the GREATEST and most PROLIFIC KNOWLEDGE you will ever have - knowing this, will give you the confidence, the assurance and peace of mind that will guide you to a higher life. Your success or failure will follow your actions - The Right Actions If… You Know You! Have a look at the following and then test yourself. How do you relate to the following questions?
- Do you understand why you do what you do, or do you just act on impulse? (Impulsive behaviour)
- Do you want something because others have it, or is it based upon a real need? (envy is not rational)
- Do you know what leadership is, or do you just want to be in charge -get the glory and the shine? (Ego, arrogance, pride and narcissism)
- Can you accept disagreements, or does it escalate into an argument?
- Do you avoid confrontation; do you say “Yes” when you actually mean “No”?
- Are you able to share and work as a team, or are you a loner?
- Can you make decisions or are you afraid of failure?
- Do you have follow - through, or do you hope it will just happen?
- Do you give-up easily?
- Do you take short cuts to success at the expense of honesty and integrity?
Do any of the questions touch a sensitive nerve with you, if so, that’s great. One of the first steps in learning about self is awareness, because the next logical step to awareness is acknowledgement! Remember, you can only change that which you are aware of and have acknowledged! Becoming more aware, as well as understanding why you do what you do, and learning to control your emotions will help you achieve greater results in life.
To begin we need to learn:-
- What is important to you and others
- Take responsibility for your emotional state
- Teach your mind to become more focused and solution orientated
- Uncover and deal with any limiting and suspect beliefs
Your values should guide you to what’s important
What you value determines what life means to you. When people do not know their values, or are disengaged from them - they become unmotivated.
These people need to re-connect and get properly aligned to their values. Find out what motivates you. Spend just a few moments thinking about some activities in your life that really excited you. They should be things that really mattered to you at that time, and also gave you great satisfaction. Then answer the following:-
- Which activities gave you the greatest sense of satisfaction?
- What skills or abilities did you most like using?
- Why did you like using them?
- Do you notice any patterns in the list of things that mattered to you?
Now try and establish what motivates you in different areas, e.g. work… What is important to you about your work? Know you Values. Balance in your life will enable you to give attention to all areas of your life. Once you have learned to Balance your priorities, you will become more motivated, as well as become an inspiration to others. But first, before you can balance those priorities, you need to find out what your priorities are. Examine the diagram and give yourself a score from 1 - 10 for each of the areas of your life. 1 = least amount of fulfillment 10 = most amount of fulfillment Now look at your wheel - what areas do you need to work on?
1 Know - to perceive or understand as fact or truth; to apprehend clearly and with certainty: I know the situation fully. 2 Intimate - Pertaining to, or characteristic of the inmost or essential nature; intrinsic: the intimate structure of an organism, or pertaining to, or existing in the inmost depths of the mind: intimate beliefs.
