Soul Eclipse

David had run in to a little problem with his affirmations. “Whenever I say the word ‘winner’, I get a little uneasy and doubtful” he told me.

Each time David affirmed that he was a winner; he felt a stirring within that made him feel that it was a mis-match. This is what psychologists call cognitive dissonance, it simply means, that David was trying to believe two things that were opposed to each other. Deep inside, David knew that he wasn’t really a winner and this brought about a strong feeling of self-doubt.

Susan also had a problem with the word “young”; this stirred up within her a strong feeling of mis-match. She had no problem with “youthful” but her mind kicked up a fuss whenever she tried to impress “young” into her self-image.
She explained, “At the age of 70 I’m not young. And I would not want to go back to my youthful days for all the tea in China. They were unhappy times…it took many years for me to gain the peace and knowledge I have now.”

David and Susan are typical. Almost every person who try to introduce contradictory ideas into their self-image will most certainly stir up some inner conflict. But we are quite surprised when this dissonance is experienced.

The process of change will always involve conflict

As part of our growing up and socialisation process, most of us are trained to avoid conflict whenever and wherever possible. However when this conflict does occur, we are taught by example to try and overpower the new idea and remove it from our minds rather than welcoming it. We tend to argue rather than negotiate and try to find some common ground.
Take any two people. Inevitably, differences of viewpoint arise between them, and when this happens, doesn’t each one usually insist that their idea is right while the other’s is flawed? How often do both partners listen respectfully and try to work out a way for both of them to be right? We do see peaceful relationships, but they’re few — certainly not in the high percentages.

And just as each person usually insists that the other is wrong, so does your mind: “What I believe is not a belief… it’s RIGHT.” This leads us to skip right over any opportunity to examine our established ideas. After all, they don’t NEED examining… we already know that they are fortified truths.

Not being able to question the infallibility of our own beliefs keeps us stuck in one spot, not be able to move on and not understanding why.

Your feelings are giving you some good feedback

Is it a good idea to ignore your feelings? When your inner being tells you that something is wrong, it might be worthwhile paying closer attention and not just shove it to the back out of sight.

What happens when we begin to suggest to ourselves that we’re winners, young, able, rich, or slim and this brings about cognitive dissonance? This feeling of mis-match between what we are suggesting and our reality makes us feel uncomfortable. After all in most societies we are taught to embrace our positive feelings and steer away from the negative ones.
The feeling we now experience is disagreeable, but rather than allow time to settle things between themselves, we immediately remove the trouble-making idea by rejecting it completely and shoving it out of the way. We STOP the affirmation. This then restores the peace and the calm within us, but at what cost?

Mismatched feelings are our “Work-on-This” indicator

How many times have you affirmed something like “I am rich“, “I am young and able” or “I am successful” only to have your mind reject it?
Many people feel as though they are lying to themselves, and then reject the “untrue” affirmations. “It’s no good,” they say “I can’t fool my mind into believing something that isn’t true.”

Maybe you have had similar experiences. If you have — and you’ve ended up quitting — then you were throwing away some of the best feedback your mind could ever give you.
It is important to understand that your mind is not telling you that you are lying, but rather it is an area of sensitivity, and requires a little more patience, time and help from you. It’s saying, “this is all new to me and I don’t yet know how to make the shift…yet!” So, please understand if I can’t make the change immediately, there are feelings of insecurity and maybe even a little defensiveness.”
This might mean that you may want to rid yourself of the idea that “negative” feelings are always negative. And realise that they may often be requests for patience, understanding and soft-handed persistence.

The Real Meaning of those Mis - matches

Your mind is not telling you to give-up or quit, but rather pointing out exactly what you should be working on. This is priceless information, because once you know where your soft spots or “problem” areas are, you will know exactly where to direct and apply your energies.
It’s no longer a “hit and miss” situation. Because once you know the location of the “block”, it becomes much easier for you to ease your way through it.

The first “rule of thumb” is, don’t be timid. Test lots of ideas, suggestions and affirmations. The ones that normally create a little discomfort are normally your “quick-win” zones.
Don’t use force…just let your affirmations and suggestions flow in, steadily and gently. Be gentle, you are not making anything happen. You are just allowing two seemingly opposing ideas a chance to work out a bet compromise between them. All resolving will be done at a subconscious level.

Techniques You Can Use to Help

If you’re familiar with NLP, you may want to use anchoring, reframing or the swish pattern.
NLP stands for Neuro - Linguistic Programming, a name that encompasses the three most influential components involved in producing human experience: neurology, language and programming. The neurological system regulates how our bodies function, language determines how we interface and communicate with other people and our programming determines the kinds of models of the world we create. Neuro - Linguistic Programming describes the fundamental dynamics between mind (neuro) and language (linguistic) and how their interplay affects our body and behaviour (programming).
And if you’ve never heard of these before, do a quick Google search. You’ll find reams of information on the subject.
So if you find your mind is filled with words and concepts that are weighed down with associations of hopelessness or negativity, now you know what to do with them. You can begin changing them immediately.

Once you’ve learned to change the emotions attached to common ordinary words, you’ve learned how to select your own personal character traits.

Indeed, when you control words, you control your very destiny.